Sunrise - Sunset
I realized tonight I still have not come to terms with my own mortality. My own sin, really. I have been Christian now for well over a decade, and yet when I set my eyes to Christ the first feeling I oftentimes have is regret or even sorrow. Why? Because I know that there is so much more that I could be doing. But then, with God that is never the point. And so in my worst state of self-pity after a good amount of time spent in the arms of Jesus I finally feel again what I know is true- I am loved. Deeply loved, and my God is proud of me. Not because I earned it, but because I just took the time to realize it.
Which begs the question-
Why is it so hard to start the day living with the assumption that by the end I will again feel like everything is how it is supposed to be, and I am ETERNALLY loved?!
It seems like oftentimes the peace and love I fall asleep with is somehow drained during the night and I wake up with fear of not measuring up to God, worthless self-image, and a desire to make it right by working harder.
God bless me.
I praise God for age. As I am now just starting to barely scrape any semblence of bragging rights about having lived on this earth, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would ever trade age in all it's bloated sagginess for youth in all it's beauty and ignorance. The Bible is truly revealing the plan of God when it says "The glory of young men is their strength, the glory of old men is their gray hairs."
As I grow older, my stamina for my own pride, sin, lies, etc. grows weaker and weaker. Thank God. And as a result I ride the slow wave of age closer and closer to my Jesus. I see things revealed in my life now that I never used to even know existed. And I no longer have the patience to live with even the petty things that are obviously not true. And so I ask God to change me. And He, in His mercy, still stands there with His arms wide open and that big smile on His face.
You see, really, age for me is just a short definition for the process of laying down my life for the sake of gaining Christ.
Could there be a more precious gift??
Which begs the question-
Why is it so hard to start the day living with the assumption that by the end I will again feel like everything is how it is supposed to be, and I am ETERNALLY loved?!
It seems like oftentimes the peace and love I fall asleep with is somehow drained during the night and I wake up with fear of not measuring up to God, worthless self-image, and a desire to make it right by working harder.
God bless me.
I praise God for age. As I am now just starting to barely scrape any semblence of bragging rights about having lived on this earth, I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would ever trade age in all it's bloated sagginess for youth in all it's beauty and ignorance. The Bible is truly revealing the plan of God when it says "The glory of young men is their strength, the glory of old men is their gray hairs."
As I grow older, my stamina for my own pride, sin, lies, etc. grows weaker and weaker. Thank God. And as a result I ride the slow wave of age closer and closer to my Jesus. I see things revealed in my life now that I never used to even know existed. And I no longer have the patience to live with even the petty things that are obviously not true. And so I ask God to change me. And He, in His mercy, still stands there with His arms wide open and that big smile on His face.
You see, really, age for me is just a short definition for the process of laying down my life for the sake of gaining Christ.
Could there be a more precious gift??
posted by Justin at
10:51 PM
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